Mental Health Monday – Week 99

This week I’d like to discuss how to properly have a conversation.

Sometimes it isn’t so much the things we say but how we say them.

Conversations can turn left real quick if we’re not careful in how we speak to others or if we aren’t aware of what we’re saying.

Surely everyone has misspoke at some point or another, we’ve even been the one to hurt someone’s feeling by either being careless or reckless in our approach.

We certainly know how it feels to be on the opposite end of that spectrum as well, feeling hurt or disappointed by the things others may say to us.

Today I’d like to focus on the habits to break away from when having conversations with others to avoid the miscommunication that often occurs when this is done.

Habits to avoid are:

⁃ Interrupting

This can come across as you not being interested in what the other person has to say or how they feel.

⁃ Story-Topping

This can easily shift the conversation from connecting to competing.

⁃ Bright-Siding

Although this may not be your intention, always encouraging others to look at the brighter side of things can come across as you invalidating how they feel in that moment.

⁃ Being Right

This often creates discord between people because it’s an ego-based response, this can have the conversation turn into proving points & winning the argument at hand, it can come across as very belittling.

⁃ Being All-Knowing a.k.a. The Know-It-All

Surely nobody likes a know-it-all & having the mindset of knowing all things is also an ego-based approach, it shows you’re not open to other perspectives & aren’t teachable, this approach in a conversation typically involves explaining information without being asked for your opinion/ expertise.

⁃ Advising

Sometimes people come to us for a listening ear, advising others isn’t always warranted unless asked because oftentimes people are just looking for comfort, empathy, & compassion.

If a conversation becomes too overwhelming, triggering, or upsetting, you have every right to express your discomfort & choose to end the conversation if you feel necessary, however… sometimes we need to have uncomfortable conversations in order to move forward or address the things that have been bothering us.

Uncomfortable conversations are never fun to have but it’s the respect that’s had when we’re met with differences that really speak to someone’s character.

If you find others dumping their problems onto you without asking permission, correct the behavior so it does not become a habit.

It’s important to uphold boundaries in order to communicate properly.

Keep in mind the things you say & the impact your words may leave behind, try to remain intentional in all of your conversations.

We cannot change how others may speak to or about us but we can control our responses & the conversations we partake in & initiate.

⁃ MML