This week I’d like to discuss self-sabotage & what it looks like.
It’s said that behavior that often creates problems in your daily life & gets in the way of long-standing goals is what you would call self-sabotaging behavior.
Procrastinating, comfort eating, & self-medicating with drugs & alcohol are all examples of this.
Sometimes we aren’t always aware of these self-sabotaging tendencies because they’ve become such a habit, & most times they’re learned behaviors we’ve picked up along the way.
There’s many reasons why one may self-sabotage.
People struggle with many things.
Temptations, cravings, desires, you name it.
Sometimes people self-sabotage because they lack worthiness & don’t exude enough confidence.
We sometimes suppress feelings & emotions, causing us to lash out or behave dysfunctionally.
Perfectionism, financial matters, work, & even change can also be reasons for self-sabotage.
I’m sure you’re reading or listening to this & realizing times when you self-sabotaged & that’s ok, we’ve all been there at one point or another.
Some suffer with self-sabotaging regularly & if you guys haven’t noticed by now, I never discuss a problem without seeking & bringing a solution to the table.
So to start, documenting & analyzing self-sabotaging behaviors are key for prevention.
Write down when you feel stressed & why, track your heart rate & take note of when it elevates so you can determine & distinguish what’s either excited or frightened you.
Try being more consciously aware to uncover patterns of self-sabotage.
Relationships of all kinds can suffer from self-sabotage, to avoid this begin by understanding your childhood relationship patterns & identify any triggers that may arise.
Journaling in these cases is highly recommended, as well as learning to tolerate some discomfort to work through your issues by communicating & responding in a healthy & respectful manner.
It’s important to have compassion with yourself or others who may be self-sabotaging.
Identifying triggers & creating a plan to transmute them is a major way to cultivate self-compassion.
I’m a big advocate for cognitive behavioral therapy which is another solution for self-sabotage.
Most of the self-sabotage tendencies we participate in stems from being in a victim mentality headspace or from trying to rationalize bullshit.
When you ignore your needs, that’s self-sabotage.
When you fight the good things in your life out of fear they’ll end terribly, that’s self-sabotage.
When you do things to suppress your feelings, that’s self-sabotage.
When you give your energy away to emotionally unavailable people, that’s self-sabotage.
The thing with self-sabotaging behaviors is it’s really a you vs. you situation that only you can fix & to do so, it’s important to learn to cultivate more self-care, self-support, self-worth, & self-regard into your life.
This work requires discipline, honesty, & discernment of self.
People who really love themselves always have something productive to do with their time, leaving them little time to dwell on the unimportant things – this is called radical self-care.
It’s when you unapologetically love yourself so much, that your self-worth & determination aren’t swayed by others.
You’re able to uphold healthy boundaries so you’re not overextending yourself.
It’s good practice to affirm yourselves as well as protect your interests to restore & refocus on what truly matters preventing self-sabotaging tendencies.
You owe it to yourself to prioritize yourself without sabotaging things in the process.